If you know me then you know I am big on loyalty and being there for others. Sometimes I can be loyal to a direct fault. I am always the person to put others in front of me. It’s always ” what can I do to help”, “Who can I be there for”, “What do you need”. I find it crazy how I can solve everyone else’s problems, tell everyone else what they need to do and be my friends therapist but when it comes down to doing it for myself…whewwww child I suddenly become deaf and blind. Now I’m a transparent person. I will be the FIRST to say ya girl makes horrible decisions. Lord knows I will walk out my front door and go left knowing good and well it’s better for me to go right. My momma used to always say when I was little “you sholl love learning the hard way don’t you?”. The answer is yes, yes I do. I am a firm believer that you have to do things your own way to build character and learn from your mistakes. The very mistakes I have made, have placed me on the path I am on. To only be 25 I would like to say I am doing pretty well and my mistakes didn’t cause me too much harm.

Now lets look at the bigger picture here. Why is it we can be a therapist and problem solver to the world but can’t do it for ourselves? Why is we want to keep our peers from learning lessons the hard way but we won’t do it for ourselves. I will tell one of my friends a million times “Sis, leave that man alone he’s not the one for you”….now let it be me dealing with a man that’s no good for me. Sis when I tell you all of a sudden I become Ray Charles and I can’t see that he’s wrong for me. We tend to be able to be there for other’s opposed to ourselves because it is easier to see and point out where someone else’s life need work rather than our own. In order to point out where your life needs work you have to be able to do a few things:

1. Accept that things in your life are not currently A1
2. Take responsibility for the role you have possibly played in the matter
3. Find a way to handle what’s happening
4. Put some action behind that plan and do something to fix it

I don’t know about ya’ll but just reading those four steps made me tired. I personally am not good at accepting when things in my life are not going how I feel they should. If I like a guy and I know he’s wrong for me I make excuses for him. If I want something and it doesn’t work my way I become agitated and annoyed versus accepting that maybe what I want is not good for me. Now this is something I am working on (God ain’t through with me yet so chill out on me). As women we have to begin looking inside ourselves. It’s okay to be there for your girls, it’s okay to make mistakes and learn the hard way, It’s okay to be that shoulder but sis at some point YOU have to show up for YOURSELF. You sitting there playing Iyana fix my life for everybody else and then once they’re all healed guess what, you’re still B R O K E N. Take your own advice, be kind to yourself, know your worth and then ADD TAX.! Do not settle, do not be in discomfort to make someone else comfortable, do not make excuses for that man, do not make excuses for yourself.! Get up, boss up, and work on being the best version of yourself that you can be. You will thank yourself in the long run.