How many times a day are you the pot calling the kettle black? Sis tonight we gone do a little self reflection. You simply cannot be out here telling people where they messed up at when your life is in disarray. That’s what we not gone do.

Now honey I am the SHADE queen. Those of you that know me now I’m quick with the shade and the one liners…but what I don’t do is be the pot calling the kettle black. Now for those you that are too young to know what that means, it means don’t be out here talking about people for things that apply to you as well. Example: You point out how somebodys frontal is pushed back but your leave out is fried….get my point? Okay, cool not let’s talk about this.

Self reflection is key sis. Take time to assess and evaluate yourself. Are you together internally and externally? Are you handling your business? How them grades looking? Stacking ya money?? Are you being a good friend? These are all important questions to reflect on. Now, I’m not saying reflect so you can throw shade. We all throw a lil shade from time to time but in all honesty we are too old to not be able to step back and check ourselves when we are not on our A game. You have to make sure that you’re not the toxic person in someone’s life.

We LOVE to point out when someone is bringing toxicity into over lives but do we really ever stop to recognize our taxic traits and how it’s affecting those around us? So, what’s your toxic trait? How is it affecting your friendships and relationships? Take a good amount of time to think on that question. If you say you don’t have any toxic traits I advise you to phone a friend and ask them because I promise we are all toxic in a way.

I’ll tell ya’ll right now, my main 3 toxic traits are i’m very defensive, I learn things the hard way and I’m dramatic asl. I get defensive FAST, like I don’t like to be checked or questioned by anybody. I automatically jump to defense because I hate for anybody to ever think they can tell me when and how to go. Learning the hard way….whew if my bestfriend is reading this right now I know she’s behind her phone like “yep, you sholl do, hardheaded self”. Chile when I tell you somebody could tell me to go left and I’ll go right just to do what I wanna do. I learn everything the hard way, head made of bricks. As for being dramatic, ANYBODY that knows me can attest that I am a drama queen…somebody hand me my Oscar. I have been dramatic all my life (I blame my momma) . While I recognize these traits it means absolutely nothing if I am not trying to grow from them.

I am a work in progress just like anybody reading this. The first step is to assess yourself. Identify what you need to work on, your toxic traits and how they affect your growth and relationships. Once you’ve done that then figure out how you can work on them…then START WORKING! We are adults, you can no longer use that “that’s just how I am line”. If you’ve got toxic traits that are affecting your relationships then either work on them or go be toxic by yourself. Don’t bring all that negativity in other people’s lives. Simply do not be the pot out here calling the kettle black. Address yourself, check your toxicness and grow from it.