Time /noun/

the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.

Time in inevitable, often we feel that we must dictate time in our lives. How often have you said “I have to do this by this time?” I have to graduate by this date? I have to me married by this age?

Let’s break time down. There are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day and 8,760 hours in a year. Yet we somehow manage to feel like time gets away from us. Let me be the first to tell you that things do not happen in the time you feel they should, they happen in the time they are supposed to. You have to become in tune with your inner self to realize this. While yes, time will not wait for you, you need a relationship with it to understand when it is your time for certain things to happen.

For example, I graduated undergrad in December of 2017. Prior to graduation all I talked about was taking a semester off and starting graduate school in the Fall of 2018. I had it all planned out: graduate undergrad in Fall 2017 > Go to graduate school Fall 2018 > Graduate grad school Spring 2020 > Start Phd program in Fall 2020. Well here we are in 2021 and I just started graduate school in September. I applied for three graduate programs after undergrad and was denied for each of them. It broke my spirit so badly, because all I wanted to do was get a masters degree. After being denied for all three programs, I sat and talked with one of my mentors. She told me “It is not your time to go to graduate school, you have time…stop trying to control time and rush everything”. Of course I did not receive this well, because in my mind it was my time to go to school. After my denials, I was a student at large for the university I worked for. I took classes to keep myself busy and decided that I would focus more on my career and becoming a better educator. I prayed over grad school and asked God to show me when it was my time. After a few semesters I felt it was time to give grad school another chance. This time I felt more prepared and ready to move forward with my education than I did previously. Needless to say here I am, a graduate student in the Educational Leadership-Higher Education Masters program at DePaul University, currently holding a 4.0 gpa I might add. If I would have gotten into grad school when I first applied I probably would not have been very successful. I was not mentally ready to be a grad student nor had I fully looked at the programs I applied to and saw how they would align with my future career goals. Now, I am in a program that feels perfect for me and I am doing extremely well.

The first time I realized how important timing was, when I began to look for a job in my field. During my last semesters of undergrad I worked as a pharmacy technician. After graduating I kept my tech job until I solidified a full time position somewhere. Mind you, I wanted to work in education for the university I graduated from. That was my ultimate goal. I applied for countless jobs at my alma mater and was denied for at least ten positions. I was so discouraged because I wasn’t getting any call backs or interviews and I felt like I was running out of time finding a job. So what did I do? I applied for and accepted a job as a Leasing Manager for a Student apartments realty company. Ya’ll…..this was the WORST job I ever had. The pay was great but I hated the position. For one, realty was not something I was passionate about. SO what did I do, I got fired from that job (the first time I was ever fired, whew I was devastated), I accepted a job at another realty company, this time as a leasing agent with HALF the pay from my old job. By getting fired I had no choice but to take the first job I was offered. My bills were piling up, I was in debt and I needed money. This job had a way nicer staff but I still wasn’t happy. There I was 24, with a degree and no job in my field. Yet, something was telling me to be patient and just wait because my time was coming. A few months after working my job, my mentor from undergrad reached out to me and informed me that my alma mater had a position open that she thought I should apply for. I applied with little faith I would get it, I mean I was denied for ten positions before so why would I get this one. To my surprise I got an interview, that interview turned into me getting the job. Ya’ll this was and still is my dream starting job. It was a brand new position no one had worked before me. This role was perfect for me and exactly what I was looking for to get my start in education. Looking back now, I am grateful that time did not work the way I wanted to. By waiting until it was my time I was able to start my career with my dream job, not many people get to start that way. This was the first time I saw that timing is everything and that you have to be patient and know that when it’s YOUR time it WILL happen.

For those of you reading this that needed a sign here it is:

The job you want IS coming, it’s just not your TIME.

That spouse you’re seeking WILL arrive, it’s just not your TIME.

That house you want, it’s coming. It’s just not your TIME.

You WILL buy that car you want. It’s just not your TIME.

You WILL graduate, it’s just not your TIME.

This storm will pass, it’s just not your TIME.

I want you to know that delay DOES NOT mean denial. Everything you want is within your reach. See, when we do or get things before it’s our time we mishandle them. When we are patient and wait for God to prepare us for what we as asking for, we handle it better because it was our time.

I’ll leave you with this final sharing of my encounters with time. For years, I have prayed and asked God for a certain type of man. If you know me personally then you know I have terrible luck in the dating department. I always get the opposite of what I ask God for when it comes to men. But I had a specific prayer, God let him be educated with a masters or PHd, family oriented, understanding, supportive, an active listener, hardworking, ambitious, driven (and a few other things, I’m not gone give ya’ll my whole prayer because God not about to send ya’ll the man I been praying after lmao).

After years of praying and getting men I thought were dope, but turned out to be baking soda; I felt like the type of man I was praying on did not exist. Well, a while ago I met my prayer in the flesh ya”ll. Honey I was SHOOK! To pray over something so specific and then God shows it to you can be a lot to take in. This man was perfect ya’ll, attractive, educated, driven, grateful, caring, well-dressed, respectful, understanding.

Whewwww I know my close friends reading this like “Girlllll, here you go lol”. Now he was all that and then some yet I mishandled the entire situation. I was taken back by how God had placed what I asked for in front of me that I was not looking at the current space I was in life and that I was the worst time for me to start liking someone. For personal reasons I knew it was a bad idea but yet here I was in lala land liking this man and ended flat on my face and back at square one because I disregarded time. Now here I am, fully grateful and aware of the lesson God wanted me to take from the situation. God was not sending me a relationship. He was sending me proof that my prayer can come to fruition, when it is time. Now, the guy God showed me is not who I will end up with (although he and I are great friends and I am grateful God sent him because Lord knows I need new positive people in my life). God sent him my way to show me that what I desire and deserve exist and that in due time he will send me the man he wants me to have. Timing is everything, you have to be in tune with your internal clock.

Take time this week to assess everything you want out of life. Pray over it. In praying over it do not ask God to do it on your time, ask that things be done on his time and according to his will. Watch how things in your life shift after that.

See you all in 2 weeks

XoXo – Junie